While it may seem odd, I'm writing myself  a short series of letters to reflect on my own journey of being a mom. Read if you like, and not if you don't, but thank you as always for being a part of this walk with me. 


Dear Marietta,



You had two babies! 16 months apart, a boy and a girl, how fantastic! You would have never dreamed that, that would be your story. You were so happy, a bit frazzled, definitely tired, but always cognizant of your tremendous blessing. You poured over books on how to do it right, wrestled in your mind about keeping up the house vs. sleeping during naps, and became a phenomenal online
shopper. You learned a LOT. It was in these exhausted months that you discovered your true strenghths, and they were hard earned. I can tell you now, you did a great job. It took a long time to look back on that period of time, a time with two babies, and think you did it well, but you did.

Remember, when you'd be up to feed Jack and Grace would wake up, too? She only wanted Mom, rendering Dad's attempts to console her as not very helpful. So, you fed Jack and held Grace, laid your head back on that glider, and rocked two babies, many times, on many nights.

Patiently, exhausted, but because that's what you needed to do. Remember when you'd leave play group, or Gymboree, or the grocery store and feel like a hot mess with a young toddler, a newborn in a car seat to carry, diaper bag, hair slung in a ponytail....you felt like you looked ridiculous. But no, you were doing what you needed to do to get that job done. That's all that matters, and you did it well. So you slipped up now and then, closing your eyes at a red light and apparently not applying enough pressure to the brake, thereby putting a hole in your bumper but leaving no damage to the big SUV in front of you....or the time when you loaded kids, loaded groceries, hopped in and backed up only to hit the shopping cart you forgot to return. And a few times you started to drive without shutting some door or another on the car. But, you made it through, how? You put one foot in front of the other, kept your focus in the right direction, and kept going.

teething anyone?

You learned that you were no longer totally in control of each minute of each day, or sometimes not even in control of a whole day!....but you learned you could still be the steering force and maneuver your family in the right direction. You learned that life, as a mother, is not really about you, not directly anyway. And that is ok. You embraced that, and in doing so, you opened your heart to be a story about your family, not just about you...it made for a bigger heart.

You did that job well.
Put a good grade in your file and keep walking because there is more to come :)

Sincerely,

Marietta