one blessed shepherd: 5

My goodness...5

A whole hand.

This is what 5 looks like.

While I am not ready for 5, she is very ready.

I'm really still 22 hours from 5 but this is what 5 has already taught me. 5 now knows a bit about the world outside itself. Not much, but a bit. 5 knows there are choices in one's actions, there are responsibilities, there is good and 5 now recognizes there is bad. 5 knows that the world is bigger than the backyard. 5 recognizes emotions such as love, anger, frustration, and sadness.

but, I also see

That 5 thinks the "world" has now extended across the street to a friend's house, and that the week and weekend differ, that bad means not all strangers are friendly and that staying close to mom or dad is safe, 5 knows to ask questions about what is coming, or why something is the way it is.

My mind, 36, knows that the world is much bigger, and that good and bad is much more complex, that answers have depths that are still incomprehensible and therefore must still be filtered. 36 knows emotions like selflessness, worry or fear, and understands deep, unconditional love.

I wrestle with allowing her world to grow (yes, I know this is just the beginning). It worries me that she'll be exposed to more of the world that isn't always ladybugs, family dinners, and a predictable routine. But I see her resilience, her perseverance, her open heart and ease at which she faces the light of the world and keeps seeking it. And so, here we go into 5...

I vow to loosen my grip just enough to say I'm doing so, like-let her go to kindergarten...and to trust her, trust Trent, trust myself, and trust God, that 5 will be ok. I also vow to let her encompass 5 and represent all of its zest, because I know that too soon

6 will be opening its door...

So, here's to 5, I will welcome you with great celebration..........tomorrow