Dear Marietta,

What the heck are you doing, typing on your laptop, at 4 in the morning, while everyone sleeps? Go to bed...but I know you, you won't listen. This is your time, the house is quiet, and you relish every minute of that. You always have. I remember you turning pages of catalogs after feeding and putting Grace back to bed. You'd grab a snack, turn the light on, and grab 20 minutes to yourself. Good for you.

Think back to when sweet Will was born. Remember? You were so ready. You had absolutely no worry or anxiety about bringing that sweet baby home. "I've got this", you'd think. A two year spread between babies #2 and #3 seemed like a generation. And so, you were ready.

At sweet Jack's 2nd birthday party, a few weeks from when Will was born :)

What you weren't ready for was a baby that cried and cried, every night for months. You were calm. You really never got rattled. After all, this was not your first rodeo with a crying baby...but you still had room to grow. You didn't realize that even with two young kids that you still had free time. Every night that Jack and Grace would be in bed by 7:30 or 8, you were free to do as you wish. But, Will, sweet Will, would arise from a deep sleep or change from a pleasant smile to deep, long cries, every night at 7:45 without fail. You could predict it like the sunset. And sometimes, it would be 7:44, he'd be peacefully sleeping, the other 2 in bed, and you just knew he was going to sleep right through, but tick tock tick tock....tick < 7:45, eyes open....wahhhhh! In this picture,  we were at Christmas in Roseland...wow, does a picture bring back memories. You dared not stop moving or holding that binky in or Will would make it known that the Christmas lights were NOT the priority :) but, for Jack & Grace. you were not going to miss the Christmas lights, so you bounced and jiggled your way around that ARC putting on the all-is-just-going-according-to-plan attitude...phew.


No, you didn't get rattled, but a tinge of resentment of your lost "free time" waged in your mind. But, you prayed, you leaned on Trent for extra help, you let off steam to close family and friends and therefore you fended it off well, knowing that this too would pass. Will was a dream for the other 21 hours of the day, and still is, and you felt all of his little blessings to your family and worked right on through that. It made you an even more resilient mom, with another invisible badge to add to your heart.

Tyler Zoo, Spring 2012

And on having three, well, you kept walking, putting one foot in front of the other, facing the light and steering your family in that direction. You've done pretty well. Keep walking...there is so much more to come.

Sincerely,

Marietta









Oh, and remember that the reason you were writing at 4 a.m. was because Grace had a bad dream and got in bed with you and Trent (you were too tired to deal with getting her back in her bed), then Jack came in and needed reassurance...so you went to get him back to sleep before he noticed Grace in your bed...and, well, you fell asleep with Jack, until he pretty much nudged you right off the side of the bed....so, you grabbed some water (and a cookie) and checked emails and Facebook, and well, wrote a blog post or two...why not! Now, off to bed....hmmm, the couch or Grace's room? :) you WILL miss these moments!