I sit back down. I look around and quickly am fixed on this older gentlemen about 6 rows up on the other side of the aisle. "Go put your hand on that man." Say what? again, "go put your hand on that man." I know this is from God. I'm fixated on this elderly gentlemen sitting next to his cute elderly wife. But no. I can't do that. Delivering my dad a message from you, God, is one thing. Putting my hands on a random stranger in a packed church, no way.
I knew the choice was mine, free will again. But, I couldn't do it. I apologized to God in my mind. I knew his answer: "it's ok. I've asked you to do this and it's up to you if you do." I couldn't do it. I didn't know how. I was embarrassed. I mean, that's just crazy! I didn't do it. I felt a little bit guilty but God knew I was trying. At least I heard him. I was trying.
Another couple of days go by, BAM, a message: you need to deliver this message and put your hands on him, too. I mean, God, what is with the hands already? I can't do that!!! Unfortunately, I still haven't seen that person. I finally sent him a private FB message. I told him that he has profound impact on people through his FB posts. He has a large audience and that the strength of character he displays despite the hardships he's faced as of late are inspiring more people that he knows. He responded kindly and that was it.
It's about this time that I finally attend a girls night out with my closest friends here in Shreveport. January 2015. I am actually present with them that night. I have had enough in life. I let it all out. In a restaurant, all of it. I cry my eyes out, they listen. I am still so numb. I go on talking because what do I have to lose. I tell them about my messages, my directions from God so to speak. I knew they would listen. They did. And then, my friend K taught me how to do it. She said: "you don't have to walk up to him and say 'hey, haven't seen you in awhile but I need to lay my hands on you and deliver a message from Jesus' ", LOL. Sounds crazy, right? No, K told me to do it like this: shake his hand, hug him, deliver the message without even saying Jesus's name. After all, God never said it had to include "from God". Hmmm, she's right. This is exactly why I needed to tell these amazing girls in my life. I learn from them, all the time, they are amazing.
So, days later, I'm in Sam's Club with the two littles in my cart. In the diaper aisle, acutally, about 1/3 of the way down. From the other end, a woman looks my direction and smiles (she's about the age of my parents, looks friendly). She then approaches us and says "I remember shopping with my boys when they were young, you're a great mom". I thank her and in my head am thinking, how do you know I'm a great mom? She then says "can I hug you?" Holding my jaw from dropping a little, keeping my eyebrows from lifting up too high, pretending not to notice the other woman in the aisle who's jaw just dropped wide open, I all the sudden feel a huge light bulb turn on...I have to touch her....I say "sure". We hug. Like she's my aunt or something. I really hug her. She pulls back and says, thank you for that, that really blesses me, and she walks away.
Let that sink in. Ummm, what? The other lady shrugged her shoulders at me, smiled, and went on. I didn't know what to make of this. I knew it was supposed to happen and have no idea why. Hmmm I left there and called K. She believed me, knew that it was real (I knew she would) and told me to stay open to all of that. Love her.
A week or so goes by. A normal busy week. I go to bed on a Thursday night. I wake up early the next morning and cannot get KC off my mind. KC is the new baby sister of a girl in Grace's class. I hardly know her mother. I remember that she was being followed by her MD a little more closely than a normal newborn but didn't know why. My sense was that I needed to get my hands on her and speak the specific prayer that was being downloaded onto the screen in my brain. Folks, awoke from a dead sleep, thinking about a baby I've never seen, and I have to touch this child and pray over her, sigh, oh God, really? I can't sleep now because I'm scheming about how I'll casually ask about her in carpool sometime, reach in to touch her little leg and say how cute she is while I ramble off this silent prayer in my mind- weak plan, but what are my options. Sunday night rolls around and I can't sleep so I hop on FB to see what's up with the world. First post, KC's mom, they have traveled to Little Rock for heart surgery for their sweet baby and will be in the operating room in a few hours...they are asking for prayers. My mouth drops open. I am dumbfounded. Then, I panic. How can I get my hands on her now!!! Oh God, what now!
I have to do this, this baby is going for heart surgery!!! I take a huge earthly risk, I FB message her mom that Sunday night and this is verbatim what I said:
M, I so wish I could be with you all for just a moment. While this is a lot to explain ( in a FB message of all places)...I need to say it.
Lately, I have felt the need to pray specifically for certain people. Honestly, God has asked this task of me. Along with the action of praying for a specific person, I am asked to put my hands on them while I do so. If I didn't feel you believed in what I'm saying I probably wouldn't write this message at all! Anyway, this past Friday morning, sweet KC was instantly on my mind. And since then, it has been my full intention to see her, pray over her, and if possible hold her sweet hand at the least. I had no idea at that time what was about to take place over the course of this weekend and tomorrow. And so, while I know you all will be praying over her, at any point, please hold her hands and speak this prayer for it is my prayer over her:
"Sweet KC, God has you in his hands, he always had. He will protect you, and all who meet you will feel his presence."
If I were there, I would then pause, please keep holding her hand, and that is when I know I can feel God's presence with her, it is powerful.
M, I know you don't know me well, but I couldn't be more sincere in this request. I will pray this prayer for her tomorrow, early in the morning, and you can be my hands to deliver the message. And also, know that as a mother, and your friend, I'm praying for your strength, for all who care for her, and for your whole family. There is no need to respond, just please say this prayer over her and be my hands since I am not there.
thank you and again, my prayers are with all of you,
Marietta
KC's mom was moved to tears. She said this prayer over KC and invited all the MD's, nurses, family to join in the prayer before the surgery. God's words were given to me, spoken through her mother, over that sweet baby. KC is doing wonderfully. The surgery was successful. That baby girl had God's hand on her that day, I know it.
This was all my first month of listening. The story continues. But I have to stop now. It is very late. I'm tired.
What should this mean to you? I don't know. Try listening. I'll try to teach you how soon, or at least what works for me. The pattern that is developing is that my life is not about me. THat's been a common them for me since Jack was born. More about that thought process later. and don't forget, give out some love today, everyday
Lately, I have felt the need to pray specifically for certain people. Honestly, God has asked this task of me. Along with the action of praying for a specific person, I am asked to put my hands on them while I do so. If I didn't feel you believed in what I'm saying I probably wouldn't write this message at all! Anyway, this past Friday morning, sweet KC was instantly on my mind. And since then, it has been my full intention to see her, pray over her, and if possible hold her sweet hand at the least. I had no idea at that time what was about to take place over the course of this weekend and tomorrow. And so, while I know you all will be praying over her, at any point, please hold her hands and speak this prayer for it is my prayer over her:
"Sweet KC, God has you in his hands, he always had. He will protect you, and all who meet you will feel his presence."
If I were there, I would then pause, please keep holding her hand, and that is when I know I can feel God's presence with her, it is powerful.
M, I know you don't know me well, but I couldn't be more sincere in this request. I will pray this prayer for her tomorrow, early in the morning, and you can be my hands to deliver the message. And also, know that as a mother, and your friend, I'm praying for your strength, for all who care for her, and for your whole family. There is no need to respond, just please say this prayer over her and be my hands since I am not there.
thank you and again, my prayers are with all of you,
Marietta
KC's mom was moved to tears. She said this prayer over KC and invited all the MD's, nurses, family to join in the prayer before the surgery. God's words were given to me, spoken through her mother, over that sweet baby. KC is doing wonderfully. The surgery was successful. That baby girl had God's hand on her that day, I know it.
This was all my first month of listening. The story continues. But I have to stop now. It is very late. I'm tired.
What should this mean to you? I don't know. Try listening. I'll try to teach you how soon, or at least what works for me. The pattern that is developing is that my life is not about me. THat's been a common them for me since Jack was born. More about that thought process later. and don't forget, give out some love today, everyday
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