I know, I know....I like to do everything my way. I get told that by the adult that I share my house with a lot :) I try, I really do, to remember that the dishwasher can be loaded in different ways and that the dishes will come out clean...although not as many or as clean as they would my way....but anyway, the thought just hit me...when it comes to my kiddos, the reason for my perceived bossiness is not at eye level...hear me out...
I don't repeatedly remind Trent about how to do Will's car seat buckles the right way bc I think he is endangering my child and hasn't learned this technique over the course of 5 long carseat years so far. That's what it seems like to him I'm sure...but actually, I'm telling him because if Will's collar is at all bunched up under that shoulder strap he'll whine out of control starting the minute you get in, put your belt on, and begin to pull out...meaning you have to stop, get out and adjust it to make him comfortable or expect to hear him whine your whole drive which is frustrating for both of you...just sayin', and if you choose to just drive anyway, don't get frustrated with him about the whining, he can't fix his own collar yet, like I said, just trying to help :)
Or how about asking Trent to please not teach the kids to throw a frisbee outside and then forget that we have a small one inside, in one of the toy baskets from Mardi Gras last year (how could he forget that, isn't it on his toy registry file in his brain?). Because you see, you neglected to mention, outside where its normal to sling a frisbee as far and high as you can, that this is an outdoor only activity. Common sense, I know, to an adult, but not so much for the 5 and under crowd. And so, in advance, I'll remind you, sweet husband of mine, to curb your anger when they wing that frisbee and it hits your big t.v. because it is you that forgot to mention the outside only rule in the first place...the second time they do it is fair grounds for time out...I'll give you that fair and square. So, please teach them to throw the frisbee, but when I yell up the stairs to calm down because they threw it in the house and hit the t.v....you'll know why, I'm not being soft on them, I'm helping them learn...and you...in a moment of frustration (do I need to mention throwing suction cup toothbrushes at mirrors, uh huh, you know exactly what I'm talking about don't you!)
So, really, this post isn't so much for Trent, he knows my ways, expects them now I'm sure, and we get along just fine...all cream and sugar, right honey? No, I write this post for newer players in the why-does-she-always-tell-me-how-to cut his grapes game. She means well, she really does. And after a few years, she'll learn to hold back much more often, though it will never end...its part of how she is as a mom, she has reasons, she's helping you and helping them all in one fell swoop of a comment. Its instinctual almost and meant with no mal-intent.
So, try on occasion to give her some slack, and if you are still totally bewildered at the fact that she actually just told you how to put the lid on the sippy cup the "right way", just ask her, why on earth are you telling me that? She'll explain that if you put the straw in first and seal the lid...the milk will defy gravity, and rocket itself up through the straw and end up all over you... so put the straw in after the lid is on...she is just trying to help :) most of the time, there is a reason beyond eye level, common sense, suggestion!
Promise, its all with good helpful intention ;)
xxoo
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